Saturday, October 22, 2005

Corporate Angst

For as long as I can remember I have whorred myself out to companies in order to sustain life the way I want to live it. Most recently I've been working for Guardian Protection Services in their call center as a billing representative. Each Thursday and Monday morning I pray to the gods presiding over the Powerball lottery. No such luck.

In any case, said company says they want to "bring me aboard" as a permanent employee. Fine. I'll play the game. Next, they say, you have to go for a drug sceening (on my sacred lunch hour nonetheless). Fine. To my dismay, the drug test requires taking samples of my hair--three large chunks cut at the root. How pathetic. Now, I can see the reasoning behind such a test, and I would gladly give away my urine. In fact, I always felt that this type of test was kind of symbolic--I just wish I could piss in my boss' coffee mug.

But my hair! They've gone too far.


Blogger lucas said...

piss in your boss' coffee mug anyway and claim its symbolic

6:32 PM  
Blogger mattreed said...

a lock of your hair, eh? creepy. are you sure you're not being stocked by your boss or something?

2:27 PM  
Blogger mickrect said...

I was able to eek out an extra dollar per hour, but unfortunately even with my wife's salary, we are still well within what this country considers "poverty level."

So it goes.

4:27 PM  
Blogger Bob said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:43 PM  
Blogger Bob said...

In Ulysses, pissing is Joyce's symbol for creativity. In fact, the 'moment of truth' comes as Stephen Dedalus and Bloom cross their streams of urine after a night of drinking in the dooryard outside of Bloom's house.

So, while they may have your body, and a chunk of your dwindling hair, they can never take your pissing soul...

8:44 PM  
Blogger billiam said...

so your hair... are you thinking of failing the test?

5:24 AM  

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